Missing the Point

I have come to a realization that I have been watching life go by. It is weird, simply because I am always thinking about what I am going to do in the very near future. My head is always about the near future. Of course it is a decent mind to have business-wise when one is planning the next steps, but it is not good at all when I should be focusing on the "right now".

I went house hunting a week before the week of Christmas. My girlfriend and I went and saw about 7 houses. The Realtor had given us a sheet for every house we would be looking at that day. After looking at the 5th house, she asked us to separate ourselves and put the 5 houses we just seen in order. The best would be on top, and the worst would be on the bottom. When she had asked me to do it on my own, I sat there dumbfounded. I had forgotten about damn near all of the houses and what they looked like inside. It was embarrassing, I reluctantly tried to avoid admitting I forgot what any of them looked like, but it was impossible. I realized later on at home that I was too busy trying to think if our budget would fit the price of the house, whether the people inside set up their furniture the right way, and useless thoughts to that effect. I had not paid attention to the actual houses themselves. I do feel that I am very lenient and can make any enclosure my home, for that has always been something I believed. Regardless, I found it very unacceptable and I began to dig deeper and realized more correlating issues that have come to my attention in the past and tried to make a conscious effort to resolve...and failed.

I day dream a lot. Always thinking about what it would be like to do this and what it would be like if I obtained this. The kind of thoughts that would result in a gambling addiction. I would think and brainstorm a lot while driving, keeping eye on the road and the sidewalks. Unsafe it is, but it is hard to escape your thoughts when just sitting there. I would think while someone is in the car with me giving directions. By the time I would arrive at the destination, I would have no recollection on how I got there. I hear it a lot too, "We've driven through here 80 times! Why don't you remember how to get there!?". It just so happens that I do not pay attention to anything around me. I just focus on my future.

I knew an old sod farmer who passed away last year named Greg. He was a very smart and attentive gentleman. Other farmers would come into the shop I worked at and they would talk about current events both locally and worldwide. It would amaze me when one guy would say, "Did you see that small structure in the back of the woods down Alpine Street?". Now mind you, Alpine Street would be a nearly empty street off of another nearly empty street that no one really drove down that would be off a main road. Greg would say, "Yea! It looks like someone was trying set up a hunting blind or something". I would stand there baffled. I could drive down that street once in a blue moon to get to a client's house and never notice these things. This happened A LOT with these gentlemen. They knew what was going on everywhere, right in my own backyard.

It is very hard for me to remember details of past family parties and events. I could recall a good amount of memories from a substantially unique event, like a family outing to a fisherman's club, which we have only done once, but if I attempt to recall the Christmas party at my aunts house (which happens EVERY year at the same house), I can barely remember a thing.

Without being attentive to my surroundings and what is going on in the world and right around me, I wake up and another day has passed. Yes, I do work on educating myself and learning new skills and trades, but that does not hinder the fact that I cant remember what I did last Friday except the fact that it was Friday and I work on Fridays, so I had to be working. What I did that day though, off the top of my head is nothing but blank space.
I was reading an article on Sebastian Marshall's blog site. He wrote an article called, "What Skills Do You Need to be an Entrepreneur? Only Two". He stated later on in the article that you must acquire " a fierce mastery of self". I thought about this notion and I could not agree more. I urge you to take a look at Sebastian's entire site. His entire story is interesting to say the least, and he has just begun.

Acquiring a "fierce mastery of self" would resolve this problem I am having with controlling my thought process and attentiveness to intangible things that will matter when the time comes. The time is "not yet", so therefore I would like to focus on what is going on now and what I am working on and soaking in every detail. Finally, I would not be missing the point of life.